My writing journey has been on an interesting path this last week. I’m not sure what can be learned, but I’m sure that as writers many of us had some of these same experiences.
Part of my journey recently has included discontinuing anxiety medication that I have been on for the past several years. I made a conscious decision to do this and turn at least that part of my life over to God. One of the side effects of the medication was an emotional shutdown. I used to be a crier, but while on the medicine I hadn’t cried. This past weekend, I cried. This may sound crazy, but I was so happy to cry, to feel enough emotion to make me cry. Not that I want to go through what I went through this weekend again, but if felt good to cry.
So you may be asking “What does this have to do with my writing?” Well I’m going to tell you. I’m sure you remember my wip and the twin princes who are having a lot of teen angst. Connect the dots, if I’m not feeling my emotions completely, I have trouble writing an emotion, filled scene, one that tears your heart out or makes you shout with joy. My writing was suffering, because my emotions were being blocked. So now the medicine is out of my system, I can cry, but can I write that scene.
As I said the last weekend was an emotional one for us. We had some family issues that I won’t go into here, they aren’t important, except for the help they gave. But that is the end of the story. So for the beginning: I didn’t start out writing an emotional scene, it was on my list, but because of the circumstances of the weekend was low on the priority list. Instead I have been reading Natalie Goldberg’s book Wild Mind. (www.nataliegoldberg.com)
In it she gives a lot of hints about getting down deep within yourself and writing from there. So that’s what I was doing. I had been praying to God to bring me out of this place and wasn’t hearing any answers, but this was all in my head. Then it hit me, why don’t I write this down, everything that I am feeling. That’s what I did, I wrote everything that was bouncing around in my head, down on a sheet of paper, with no intention of everyone ever reading it.
Slowly my family worked their way out of the quagmire we had been embroiled in and life slowly got back on a more even keel. My list shifted and things on the bottom moved to the top. Enter my prince supposedly torn apart by good and evil. How do I write this scene? How do I find that emotion that I know is there and put it on his sleeve? Wait, I was there yesterday. That prayer, the crying of my heart and soul, is just what this prince needs. Now this inconsequential prayer of mine becomes Joachim’s prayer. A few minor changes, a few deletions and now I have a prince torn by emotions. And my critique group thinks so to.
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For me feeling those emotions was the necessary catalyst to create the emotional scene. I hope I don’t have to do that every time, but for this time I am thankful that we had an emotional weekend.
Anyway I don’t know what you can take from this, but I know I had to write it. So there it is do what you want with it.
Thank you and God Bless,
Chris